"I was saved from alcoholism, drugs and suicide"
I thank God for Dr. James!
I can never cease to give glory to God for what He did in my life. I can say that I was already dead and the Lord brought me back to life. The Lord is great and greatly to be praised. Bear with me and hear what the Lord did in my life.
I was a very stubborn girl from my childhood. I talked rudely, very violent, rough and always standing against the rules given by my parents. Because of these bad characters, as I grew I fell in the trap of evil men and that turned my life to be worse. I saw my life every day changing to what I can call the darkest life ever a lady could live. Being so rough and insolent as I said, my parents reacted very harshly and stopped my university education. They also rejected me from staying in our home, I was obliged to pack out of the family.
I started living alone, my life became another story because I had the power now to challenge and insult my family the way I wanted. I got into all kinds of evil things such as alcoholism, smoking and sexual vices, etc. In fact I was lawless and had not God in my memory. My motto at that time was "Success by all means and at all cost" because I wanted to overcome my financial problems. I involved myself in all sort of sexual life and from it I got so well what I needed. To my greatest surprise, things were not yet all right with me, I was getting worse, confused and things were tougher. The more I thought I could solve my problems the more they increased.
I was a stranger to every member of my family, my character was so strange that people were surprised what was happening to me. Everyone abandoned me to my ways of life and of course I was heading to a complete destruction.
Having taking my way, none of my family wanted to take any engagement towards me because they had all agreed that there is nothing to do with me in life again. The conclusion was that "I am a great failure, a shame and a bad example for the others." I decided to make my life the way I desired, I participated in every evil thing with a friend who used to advise me according to her conception of life. In brief, I had been a wayward person but yet I had never had peace of mind. Though I was having all material things I needed, it got to the extent that I was becoming almost insane in my reasoning. I could no more reason well. My life was coming to an end.
One thing happened, I completely starting hating my way of life, but it was too late. Everyone knew me as a bad girl and there was a great gap between me and people. There was a vacuum in my life. I was ashamed because I thought I was dealing with my family, instead I now discovered that I was destroying my life and destiny. More I realized that I did not achieve my aim, I was disappointed because even at that moment a doormat was more valuable than me. The thing reached the stage where everything became a failure until I started experiencing loneliness. I have been exploited by many people and they abandoned me and ran away. There was only one issue that rings in my heart, go and commit suicide and die. I had that thought nights and days. I was only thinking how to die so that no one will find my corpse. I wanted to die away so that I will never be a topic of discussion or gossip to my family. In that matter, the devil so manifested physically in my life that there was no day he never missed to give me ideas to fulfill my suicidal thoughts.
Finally I made up my mind. I chose an appointed day to finish with the sufferings and all I was passing through. In fact everything was so dark, hopelessness, no way to go, no one cares and it was clear there was no way out. I was alone in my sorrows, I have lost my family esteem, missed my academics, my dignity, missed my way and I have never been motherly to the child of my unwanted pregnancy, I was nothing but a mess.
On Wednesday of the month of July 2003, I went to the sea side to accomplish my decision, of course suicide. I just wanted to jump in and die and that was all I needed. For the first time in my life, I experienced a sort of a battle in me, because for so long when I take a decision I don't even think twice nor reason, I will just carry it out as soon as I have decided. But I never know what happened that day, I could control myself because there was a battle in me, a very fierce battle until all of a sudden I heard a voice behind me saying "it is not the best solution." I turn back to see the man talking, I only saw a photographer and that was very strange to me. I never know him, he never know my plans to commit suicide, he continued to say again, "there is a solution for every problem because we cannot live without them." Just after talking to me, he left me and went his way.
Throughout the whole evening until night I was by the river side, I left the river and walk aimlessly in the street to and fro, and finally resorted to go to where I was living then in a friend's huse in Bonaberi, Douala, Cameroon. Something very wonderful happened to me from here, I don't know why I changed the road I used to take when I am tracking; as I took a particular entrance I heard a song, a very nice song and I went directly where the song was coming out and as I reached at the gate of that hall, I heard clearly the wording of the song which were "He touch my life and with his hand my life changed." "Jesus touched my life with His hand and my life becomes a new one." As I was standing outside, a lady of the church came and asked me to get in. I went in and sat down very quietly. I heard a man of God speaking on "How to change your destiny," I heard God speaking to my heart during the preaching. I retained a sentence of the preacher who said "You don't have to put an end to your life when God has not decided so." I was deeply touched. I now know that God sent me there. The people in that church were so friendly, they went with me immediately to find out my house and how to help me. I was surprised that these people could care for my soul.
After that I have realized that my life was empty, how much the devil has been working in my life and how God never existed in my thoughts. From thence I took the decision to accept Jesus Christ in my life, to confess my sins and to abandon my former life; since then the woman I was living with stood against my decision doing everything to stop me from following Christ, but I had already made up my mind; I resisted until she asked me to leave her house.
The church decided to house me. In fact when some of my family members heard that I have given my life to Christ they were angry saying all kind of things to discourage me. I was a catholic and you dare not talk of any other religion in my family. They now want to take care of me so that I will leave everything about Christ and going to that Pentecostal church. They believe that it was because of hardship that I took such a decision to serve the Lord Jesus Christ, but they cannot understand my joy, my happiness or my decision. From the time I gave my life to Jesus I feel so light, so free, in fact I am changing every day. It seems that I was coming out of a very fresh water well clean. I don't want to know about what people are saying, but the only thing I know is that Jesus saved me form the hands of the devil, from destruction, from death and all vices of life, and He wants to do it for the others. Now I believe in Christ and nothing will stop me from doing his work and walking in his steps. I know that Jesus wants to save all those who come to Him, He renews my heart daily, gives me new hope. Now that I am born again, I have well known the difference between going to church and doing the will of God from the holy scriptures.
I know now that no matter how great the problems you are passing through, you just have to believe in the Lord Jesus to be saved.
Check your life and repent from your sins and ask for His forgiveness and you will experience a great change in your life.
What Jesus is doing for me, He will also do it for you if you only allow him to come into your life.